Monday, May 11, 2015

Patient Parenting

"C'mon, lets go". "We are going to be late". “Hurry”. These are all things I've said on mornings while getting my little girls ready.
I know I get stressed out in the mornings but I didn't realize what my words were actually doing to my children{especially Mally, my oldest}. It wasn't until Mally was stepping out the door one morning in a hurry to get onto the bus{that was just pulling up to our house} that I saw it. Mally's face crumbled and even though she was walking away & had her back to me, I knew she was crying. It absolutely broke my heart to see her like that! She wasn't late per se, but the way I'd rushed her all morning {with her breakfast, doing her hair, brushing her teeth, etc} you would have thought she was. I was so ashamed & disappointed in myself that day. Definitely not my best day as a parent.

Anyone that knows me, can tell you I'm not a patient person. But with my children, I really do try! I try to remember that they're miniature people that just can't go the same pace as us grown-ups . Which I thought was good enough. Until, Mally's distress that morning. After that, I swore to myself that I could be a better mom to her. That even though I am stressed, I don't need to show it or share it with my children. Because, I don't want them to ever feel any stress/anxiety. 

I feel like as a mom, It's so easy for me to feel like a failure. There is so much that I feel I should be doing for each of my children and some days I can't get half of those things done. The mommy guilt is pretty hard to cope with some days. But thankfully, there is always another day for me to try harder to show my children that they are loved, valued and special! So here is what I have been trying to do to help mitigate my stress & in-turn my children's anxiety. 
 1. Early to rise. It feels like my biggest trigger for anxiety is if I've had a sleepless night & have over slept{or at-least longer than my girls}. So for me, getting a good start to the day means being the first to rise. Getting myself ready so that I can focus on getting my girls ready, when they wake up.

2. Say a prayer. This has probably made the biggest difference. We usually do family prayers before the hubby has to go & at meals but saying a prayer on your own is oh-so important. Pray for your children, your spouse, your family's happiness, and peace & patience! Ask for guidance, that you can accomplish the things you have set out for the day. And if praying isn't your thing, then meditate & visualize how you want your day to go & how you want to act around your children.

3. Sit for a second. Sometimes, I get so stressed because I am just exhausted. There are days I've been running around and haven't had anytime to relax. Sitting down & taking a time out really helps me to retain my composure. 

4. Focus. During the hustle & bustle of the day, it can be easy to lose focus of what's important. Like family, joy, laughter and peace. This is a hard one for me because, I always want everything clean & clutter free. And when it's not, I get fixated on those little things, which adds stress & takes away the peaceful spirit that should always reside in our home. When, I catch myself doing this, I try to drop what I am doing and go do something with my girls that they'd enjoy{walk, play a game, art}.

5. Acts of Love. Something that helps me be more patient, is just showing my girls affection. When they are being wild, or I am feeling stressed, I like to give them hugs, kiss them and tickle them. Their smiles or laughter instantly calms me & reminds me of what is really important & the happiness I want to always instill in them. 

I am definitely not perfect at this but I want to be able to master this for the sake of my family's happiness!

What are some of the things you do to practice patience with your children?